The Games We Play

Video games. I used to play them quite a lot. I would spend countless hours in front of my large screen television with my Xbox, playing Halo or Call of Duty 4 online, mercilessly laying a beat-down to all who challenged me. Years before that, it was far worse, for a span of two years I survived on maybe three hours of sleep a night, and seven hours a day of online PC gaming a game called Half-Life (Team Fortress Classic) for which I was the leader of a clan. Now, if you're unfamiliar with what a clan is, think the KKK, except we only murdered people from other clans, and only within the game... Err, I feel like somewhat of a shit for stating it that way? Oh well, fuck it. I was like the Tyler Durden of online gaming. I controlled the lives of about fifty people. To some, I was a friend, to others, a father figure, and to most, a roll model. What we were, in a strange disconnected way, was a family. My clan, within two weeks of becoming a formal clan, was becoming recognized by the top five online gaming clans in the world... This was due mostly to my ethics and rules of conduct which I strictly expected followed. It took a lot of mental energy, and a lot of time, being a leader, a top-notch gamer, and roll model... It all took a toll on my health though, after two years, and I eventually gave it up, the clan life, and then eventually, even the casual online gaming...

What was the point of that story, which I have only explained in minor detail, aside from the fact that I am a complete nerd? Well, I am getting to that. I really enjoyed playing video games, especially of the multiplayer sort, because I was good at them. I am/was almost what you might call and idiot-savant. Put a controller in my hand, teach me the basics, and I'll probably kick your ass. For reals, yo. Anyway... Just recently, being within the last few months, I've been spending time with two new friends, one whom I met through the other, whom I met from dating his girlfriend's cousin whom I will say was bad news for me, she was extremely horrible for me, like, worse than all the years of gaming combined... These friends, a social science student who programs video games as a part-time lucrative hobby, and an accomplished brilliant musician, asked me if I would join them last night at an event where several teams who participated in a twenty-four hour video game challenge were presenting their games to gaming type people... The reason they asked me to join being that, one night, while catching up over a couple of pints, we discussed the possibility of working together to create video games, with me as a writer. So, I went, and I was brought back to a place in my past, where I remembered what it was to be a hardcore gamer. Now, I will not return to the lifestyle, but being involved on the creative end of something I once loved doing to pass time, well, it puts a smile on my face.

:D

There, that is me with a smile on my face. So, as I move forward with my creative projects, I find that I am adding new ones to the table. Expect to get updates on these as well...

Poetry (4 the insane): Circles

Here is one that I wrote thinking of it more like a song than a poem.
Perhaps one day it will be a song, but for now, its just a poem.

Circles

Oh how I love the way you glide on air, even as you're leaving me.

Your curves, slipping from my hands, into the clutch of another man.

I doubt he'll spin you like I did; frankly I don't give a damn...

Gone like the wind.

I know you'll come right back to me, and I'll catch you when you fall.

These games we play, we play them together.

These games we play, can go on forever.

We went back to the house; you sat on the couch silently.

You want to go back out, somewhere there is an open breeze.

We stay, I'd lose you in the dark, the sun sets on the afternoon.

In one day we'll see the park, we'll picnic and sing broken tunes.

Its time for bed.

These games we play, we play them together.

These games we play, can go on forever.

I had a glorious dream; I thought of it fondly and buttered my toast.

That day that I found you by the coast.

Nothing that is ever lasts, oh God no.

Look out for that dog; he caught you in a pass.

It's running real far, biting down hard, and moving too fast.

I hope it gets hit by a truck or car, or crushed violently by a falling star.

I want my Frisbee back.

Dear Stereotype: Cosplay Nerd

Your name was Jake, you were carrying a better than decent replica of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber waiting for friends four hours early for the midnight showing of The Phantom Menace 3D. I was waiting for a friend to arrive as I was holding tickets for a showing of Robocop, so I sat reading a volume of The Walking Dead when I noticed you in my peripheral vision looming ominously about. I barely turned my head in recognition and you saw an opportunity to begin a conversation, and so you did...

High-Pitched Voice Stranger
"So you like comics?"

Me

"Yeah, I read once in a while."

Same Pubescent Stranger

"Are you more of a Marvel or D.C. comic nerd?"

Still Me

"Neither really, I like them both, I'm just following *this* series right now."

*The Walking Dead - IMAGE comics*

Cosplaying-Voice Cracking-Talkative Stranger

"Do you do cosplay, or maybe go to any comic-con conventions or other nerd type stuff like that, I do, I'm totally all about that kind of stuff. I'm a nerd."

Me (No Longer Reading)

"I go to the occasional comic-con."

He was very talkative, hyper talkative even, I found it difficult to keep up with him, but I did, I had no reason to brush him off, he was being sincere and just seemed lonely. He shared information about his favorite blogs on movie, television, and video game reviews, he shared his dreams about working in film and making monster movies, as he had been working on one for two years to date with some friends, using a USB video camera. We talked about special effects, I suggested some film programs he could look into, and it went on and on... We talked about Back to the Future, Dinosaurs, Disneyland and Universal Studios, we... well he, talked quite a lot, very very much. My friend showed up and was astounded at the amount of words that came out of Jake's mouth in such a short period of time. Good kid, that Jake...

My message to you, the Cosplay Nerd... I salute your dedication to your passion. I commend your boldness in approaching complete strangers and initiating conversation. When I got finally got home some time around midnight, while you and your friends were beginning to totally geek out, I crawled into bed with my girlfriend and told her all about my day, and about you. She said that she hopes the best for you in life, and asked if I thought you would have trouble meeting a girl, and I told her I thought you would be absolutely fine. I would hope that at some point in your cosplaying or comic-con adventuring, that you apply that same social nature you showed with me, and use it to click with someone you can share nerdy delights with for the rest of your life. I hope that, because there is a nerd in me who at your age wanted the same thing. You know, I hear these radio spots about people doing good things for other people, and one of them says that people should be more like dogs, not in the crotch sniffing, face licking aspect, but in regards to how they assume most people are friendly... Well, I can agree with that, but I think more people should be like you, Jake, like nerds, because all nerds ever do is get passionate about creative and intellectual things that they enjoy sharing with other people.

I write this message with a smile on my cheeks, love in my heart, and a healthy meal in my belly. I wish the same to any and all who grace these pages.

<3

Wednesdays: Not Completely Determined

Wow, holy crap. I slept (or at least stayed in bed) for NINE hours this morning. Yup, in bed by midnight, up and moving around at nine. That is not entirely like me. I often only sleep about five or six hours. Anything more than eight is pushing it. I find that if I sleep any more than that, I end up feeling lethargic and headachy. I might feel like a little bit of those two things right now, but I'm going to kick it. Rather, I'm going to punch the day in the face and get out right away.
First on the check-list: LAUNDRY! Laundromats won't be so occupied today, so I can get machines and read comfortably. Second on the check-list: PINTS! I'm going to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in a while. I haven't had a beer in over thirty-five days, since the cleanse/detox... I'll get drunk on two pints (just a guess). I might have jumped well ahead on the check-list... I have some things to fill my time between. One of those things is that I have to start making my "Gastronomical Disasters" phone calls. For this, I'll be video recording myself talking to people on the phone, gathering ideas for the show. Another thing I must do today... Drawing a blank right now. I think that is all I had planned.
SO, let me think what else I need to do, even if it is thought to be a no brainer... Things To Do: Eat (yes, the standard breakfast, lunch, and dinner), Shower (cleanliness of the body promotes cleanliness of the mind, not to say my mind will be less dirty, because it won't), Exercise (preferably before I shower, though I could shower twice, I would rather schedule them in a time saving order), Breathe (yes, we do this without thought, but sometimes focussed breathing or "meditating" is extremely useful),  Write (doing that right now, but writing later, would make me feel even more productive, more accomplished, so I'll do that)... What else? PIMP MY BLOG! You to can pimp my blog. Share it with your friends. Right now. Go go go!!!

Poetry (4 the insane): Jimmy

Jimmy

Jimmy didn't want to sleep,

For weeks escaping bed,

Until one day his eyes grew legs,

Then crawled out of his head.

They thought that in the darkness,

That tired he'd soon be,

Still Jimmy tried to stay awake,

Although he couldn't see.

He walked around in circles,

To resist the land of dreams,

Till his restless legs decided,

To tear themselves from the seams.

They thought with failing motion,

That slumber would prevail,

Still Jimmy tried to stay awake,

By crawling like a snail.

He used his arms to drag himself,

Refusing still to lay,

Then his arms ripped each other out,

To go their separate way.

They thought that by disarming him,

His persistence would unwind,

Still Jimmy tried to stay awake,

By singing out his mind.

He sung out with conviction,

So deprivation would not take,

Till his self severed bloody tongue,

Slithered off just like a snake.

His ears and nose soon followed,

In hopes that sleep would come,

Though Jimmy tried to stay awake,

He finally did succumb.

When Jimmy woke soon after,

It was with ill surprise,

The whole ordeal was just a dream,

So he rested his dreary eyes.

He didn't even notice,

The murderer at his room's door,

Jimmy fell right back asleep,

Then slept forevermore.

Shit Happens

So, I live in a house where I rent two apartments. I lived in the first with some friends, and rented the second because I was giving up my place in the first, and felt like it was time that I had an apartment of my own, that I lived on my own. Truth be told, it was something I was certain of for a while. So when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. Things were going well, very well, and then the friend who replaced me was unable to stay, and replacing him has proven difficult. To make matters worse, my landlord notified me today that he was going to raise the rent. Within three days, if I can not find someone to take that room in the first apartment, I will be calling the landlord about his notification, to notify him that I am giving him two months notice on both apartments, and I will begin the search for a new place to live. In April, in Toronto, that won't be easy. Oh well, shit happens...

Make My Movie: Death of the Party

So, I get ideas for movies once in a while, sometimes I do nothing about them at all, sometimes I write the concept down, sometimes I write a couple of pages, and some I've completed but have yet to attempt to do anything with them, such as pitching them, or roping people into helping me make them myself. Sometimes I come up with ideas for little commercials, or youtube videos, and those more than the script ideas just fall wayside and never come to mind again, or eventually end up being made by someone else. That whole "Shit Girls Say" video that resulted in a bunch of spin-offs made me want to make a spin-off of my own called "Shit Mimes Say", but then as it turns out, someone just made it! EFF! Once an idea is put out into the world, into the collective unconscious, chances are that someone else is going to pick up on it and possibly act quicker on it than you... So, as I have ideas, I'm just going to share them... This idea, I have already shared with a few people in the industry, and I thought I might as well share it on my blog publicly before one of these other people decide to steal it and I don't get any credit for the concept. I have to ask you. Do you like zombie movies? Do you like puppets/muppets? Regardless, read on...

DEATH OF THE PARTY

Pandemonium ensues on a private island where an eccentric film producer throws a “dress as the famous dead” themed wrap-party when an experimental military canister washes ashore turning guests into the walking-dead. Terrified, bewildered, and taken by surprise, guests resembling famous historical characters and media icons of the past must band together in a gruesome and hilarious battle for survival in hopes of evading their ironic deaths.

How does this happen!? On the way to the island via cruise ship, guests of the party develop a curiosity as to what smoke on the ocean horizon is coming from. At the scene of it’s cause, small military boats surround a larger military vessel that appears to be in distress and has spilled a cargo of bio-genetic research canisters into the water, and the buzz of looming danger is heard. Again, with the smoke on the horizon, a lone canister is floating away and later washes ashore near the party where Jimmy Hendrix inhales a purple mist that the viral canister emits and becomes the first of the walking-dead. His first victim, one of the many Elvis’. Confused and feeling suddenly ill, Elvis heads to the bathroom where he dies sitting on the toilet, then soon thereafter arises and begins to reek havoc at the party.

Seeing as how the characters will be portraying famous dead figures of recent and historical times, nuances of these figures lives can be used in scenes of dialogue, action, and in recreating their deaths during the course of the film. For example, picture Marilyn Monroe with her white dress being wind swept, whilst being blood spattered as she mows down some undead with a Tommy Gun; Charlie Chaplin stabs out the eyes of an undead with two forks and recreates the famous dancing scene, then later dukes it out silent film style with Buster Keaton outside a window where others ponder his whereabouts, a fight he survives when a burning wall face of the resort falls and almost crushes him to death were it not for an open window space on the wall; Undead Gaius Julius Ceasar gets stabbed by multiple survivors; The Undead Three Stooges... Eye poking, hair pulling, death by mishaps; Undead JFK gets put down by two shooters; at the loss of her lover Mark Anthony, Cleopatra allows herself to be bitten to join him; Babe Ruth goes to town on the undead with a baseball bat, and much more, not to forget, this would all be filmed with puppets.

Note: If any of my ideas peek your interest and you wish to help make them a reality. Please do not hesitate to contact me. I'll make you famous. Seriously.

Public Service Announcement

I, the creator "Everything is Lemonade" have decided, within seconds of viewing some of the settings for this blog, to warn readers that it is rife with mature content such as vulgarity, descriptions of alcohol and drug use, and references of fornication, so that they may choose to continue, or pussy out and go read something more flowery and full of sunshine. Although this blog is meant to be humorous and inspirational  (and more often than anything else, nonsensical), I thought it was my duty to alert readers to the possibility of offensive material, so that they would have no reason to cry about it later, and if they still do, then I can remind them that they were warned, and to fuck off.

That said, I don't actually like vulgarity... Pause that, rewind. I'm not actually a very vulgar person. Those who know me best would agree that I hardly ever use profanities. I'm actually somewhat of a goody-two-shoes. Mr. Do-The-Right-Thing! I've never been called that, or ever referred to myself as that until right now. I wouldn't want it as a nickname. Nicknames have to be given to someone anyway to be considered official. Choosing your own is not cool, unless it's a very relevant nickname that makes sense, in which case it would only be a little less cool for the people who knew it was self assigned. I've been given many nicknames in my life. Tornado, Cheese Wheel, Hyper Child, Monkey Boy, Bucket Man, Thunder Cock... There were probably some others but I can't recall them at the moment. Anyway, the point of this whole post was that things in this blog here may often be explicit, and you've been warned. Also, you should keep on reading, and sharing this with others... That's right, spread it like herpes at a swinger's party. For me, please? You know you want to.

Incohesively Yours

I didn't post yesterday. I thought when I started this I'd post once a day, regardless of whether or not I really had something to post about. Some days I post twice, or thrice, or in farce... Arse! Shite! Poopness! It actually doesn't really bother me. I could have blogged, but was busy. I finished work, picked up some sushi, and then I ate said sushi with my lady who I then took out for her birthday, to an improve comedy show. The show was great, I laughed, she laughed, the whole audience laughed, as did the performers... It was an all-round funny fucking time! I was singled out by the comedy troupe four times through night, and was just quick enough to pull magic out of my invisible top hat to make a few funnies of my own... I got nervous, being put on the spot can do that, but the whole inclusiveness in the event made my lady's night. I had already made her day, by using my key to her place to get in before 7:00am to leave a gift on her kitchen table, and then wake her up to wish her a happy birthday before going to work... I scared the living crap out of her actually, but made up for it, with hugs, kisses, sweet words, and the aforementioned show which we left to eat pie. I had thirds. Then we went to sleep.

I worked today. I'm home now. My contract ends in two days! My cleanse ends in one day! My life... That's my choice really, although not quite because I would chose to live forever, and with superpowers, and modern science hasn't advanced as such to allow me the life I rightfully deserve, you know, for being awesome.

I remember the first time I got stoned. You know, smoked marijuana? I had a lot of friends offer many times and I always said no. JUST SAY NO! Remember those commercials? How about JUST DO IT? Yeah, I eventually did. It was a band practice, not a full band practice (oh, I was in a band), with M & M (not the candy, two people whose name's started with "M"), and we stepped outside because M2 wanted to smoke. M1 joined in. Nobody asked me... They knew better. So I said...

ME

"Mind if I try?"

M1

"Seriously?"

M2

"Sure dude, be my guest."

I just remember drooling, a lot, like, uncontrollably, then rocking out REALLY hard... My dad came home a night early from a trip and insisted that we keep playing, even though it was 2am in the morning. He sleeps like a log. We kept playing for a little while, then stopped. My dad is cool. I want to have a couple of beers with him and tell him all of the shit he didn't know I got up to... That would be a LOT.

Speaking of a lot, I have been farting a lot lately, that is probably due to the cleanse, but truth be told I farted a lot before that anyway. Probably because I like cheese.