We are everything and nothing! That's right. We're all one, and we're all on our own. The only thing between you and everything else in this world is your decisions, and your reactions to all of the inevitable changes that will occur throughout your life. What am I getting at here? Nothing, as far as it matters. What could my words, the words of one person in this world matter? Nothing to most people, and to some, maybe everything... This is relevant to a conversation I had tonight with a new friend. It is also relevant to the events which transpired earlier in my day, which started off tremendously bad... I think I hurt someone today. Better yet, I'm pretty sure I hurt someone today. I am mostly certain of this because I hurt myself in the process. I did this with words. I did this with good intentions. I did this with a heavy heart. I cried today because of it. Yup, I did. I don't like hurting people. I especially don't like hurting people who mean the world to me. Today however, I hurt one of these people, but if I didn't do it today, I feel I would have hurt them much worse down the road, and myself as well... I almost feel like it was selfish of me, but then if it were, I doubt I would have been so emotional about it, and even still if it was selfish, well maybe I deserve to put myself first once in a while, instead of others, even if putting other people first makes me happy. I have to practice what I preach though, being, "we're no good to other people unless we're good to ourselves"... So, I had to, even though it hurt.
Oh, I'm drunk right now. I wouldn't say it's the reason I'm sharing this, because I'm generally an open book, and I honestly don't give a fuck if it bothers people, because I know that some people respect my honesty, and those are the people that matter. So yeah, I'm drunk because I decided to go out on a friend's suggestion rather than sit at home alone in a state of depression and confusion. It turns out that the friend's suggestion put me in a very intimate venue where my cousin's band was playing. It was nice, connecting with two of my cousins tonight, along with some other very interesting people. It was unexpected. It was eye opening. Despite the dark clouds of inner sorrow, the day turned out to have some silver linings... Despite what I might think of myself sometimes, I'm fucking awesome.
Guess what... You are fucking awesome too. Keep it up.
<3
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